My Take on Procrastination

For those few, perfect people out there that do not procrastinate, or even for some that do, I think that procrastination is very misunderstood. I think that many people believe that procrastinators are just lazy, that they want to do other things that are more fun. In my opinion, it's a lot more than that. As a self-proclaimed procrastinator, procrastination for me turns out to be some kind of sub-conscious self-sabotage. And it really, really sucks. Actually, if you have ever heard the song from the "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" (at least I think that's where it's from) about the book report, and the procrastinator putting it off because he thinks that he would do a better job if he did it later, when he isn't so tired- it's actually pretty accurate. For me it is not as black-and-white as being tired or not, because god knows during the school year there is hardly a single moment when I'm not exhausted. It's more of, I know that I have a lot of potential. And I know that if I put in the effort, the time I could spend on a single homework assignment is unlimited. But besides the fact that I really really really don't want to spend hours and hours working on one thing, if I did do that, I could do something really good. The project or whatever could even be amazing, but I'm afraid of working like that. Making something great that I would have to live up to, and the truth that if I did all that, I would literally have no life that school and homework. And when I think about starting on a project, really my sub-conscious is telling me that if I didn't start then, if I worked on it another time, I could make it better than if I had started it then. Make sense? I'm actually thinking that if I start, I won't do as good a job on it then if I started it at another time. There, that's a little clearer. And by delaying the time til I start, I'm literally forcing myself to have a time limit so I don't spend hours on it. Inevitably, this decreases the quality of work and makes me feel like I don't live up to my potential. So either way, I'm screwed. Which is a huge part of why, even though I like learning, I absolutely and completely loathe school.